Southern Louisiana is mostly covered in swampland and much of the interstate driving in Louisiana is on a raised bridge driving over the endless swamps. We had an extremely long drive coming all the way from Austin to New Orleans where we were going to meet a native of New Orleans, Jesse Jones. According to Jesse, There isn’t a whole lot that makes Louisiana stand out from the rest of the nation except for the world famous capitol of Mardi Gras, Bourbon Street. New Orleans has the trademark of being the city where thousands converge for 10 full days of partying before the Catholic celebration of Lent. Bourbon Street is New Orleans, Jesse tells us, and so he took us there.

Bourbon Street is about a mile long, and every single night of the year, people gather to have fun at some of the hundred-plus bars that sit on the street. Three-for-one drink specials and all around happy hours line the street that is blocked off from cars every night. The city is also famous for plastic beads that are thrown from decks and countless souvenir stores carry thousands of useless souvenirs of your trip to New Orleans. We had a fun time touring the street and eating their specialty dish, Jambalaya. Inside one bar, we were told that we could go up to one of the decks and throw beads to the crowds of people who gathered beneath the deck. It was a fun experience which took us as close to Mardi Gras as we would get while there. Even though it was a normal Monday night, the street was still crowded with partygoers who embodies the partying spirit year round.

The next morning, we wanted to take an airboat ride over the swamps. Many times in movies and on television, we have seen small boats with huge fans in the back that seem capable of doing just about anything and can reach speeds as high as 60 knots. Jed spent the entire morning on the phone trying to get a hold of a place that kept hanging up on us because they refused to deal with or were completely unfamiliar with relay services. People in southern Louisiana and in the bayou must be years behind in technology than the rest of the United States because after countless times of calling, we gave up and searched for another company who would give us the tour.

We finally found another company and set out with suntan lotion and headed for the backyards of Louisiana. The humidity coupled with the intense sun was almost unbearable as we got in the boat driven by a true blooded redneck with no teeth. He has been driving these swamp boats all his life and knows every inch of the terrain by heart. We were given headphones to drown out the potentially damaging noise, but after a few minutes, we realized that with or without them, our ears were already as damaged as they would get. Powered by a 500 horsepower fan in the back of a flat-bottomed boat, we skipped across the water for the next hour and a half. We saw countless alligators, fish, and most of all, bugs. There were so many horseflies the size of my fist I kept worrying that one of them would bite my head off. We didn’t spend all our time in the boat or driving on the water, however. We stopped deep into the swamp at a former hunter’s home and there, we could hold a baby alligator in our hands and saw just how feisty they can really get. We also spent a lot of time driving the boat on dry land. Yes. Dry land. These swamp boats are capable of driving up to 50 knots on dry land without the aid of any wheels or ball bearings on the bottom of the boat. The huge fan was powerful enough to push the boat and four people across and in between just about anything. The boat travels so fast that the unbearable heat felt like it dropped 40 degrees and we couldn’t have been more comfortable temperature wise during the trip.

I have never seen terrain like the swamps of Louisiana anywhere else in the United States, and the closest place that comes to mind are the jungles of South America. They both are rugged areas with an abundance of wildlife not found anywhere else.

And lots and lots of bugs.

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